How I Got To the Beach

This week, I decided to go to the beach with Lorelai, an Americorps vet who is traveling for three months before pursuing a Psy. D. Lorelai and I have only known each other for one week. However, we get along extremely well. We feel totally comfortable talking about our bodily functions and bowel movements. It is like I am at home.

Lorelai and I began our journey on Saturday with a ten-hour bus ride to Guayaquil. Highlights:
Movies: An Italian porno followed by a docudrama about the Cambodian Genocide.
Creep: A food vendor who stepped into the seat behind me and stroked my scalp.
Confused: A woman who, believing that I was indigenous, tried to strike up a conversation in Kichwa with me in the bathroom. She was shocked to learn that I spoke Spanish.
Cute: A cop who boarded the bus and ordered all of the men to get off with their luggage. As soon as they disembarked, he ordered them to get back on.

When we arrived in Guayaquil at 8:30 PM, we discovered a three-story bus terminal with every fast food chain imaginable. I felt like I was back at O’hare Airport. Since Kate and I had arrived late, we were glad that we had already booked a hostel. We hailed a taxi and asked the driver to take us to Hotel Ecuador, which had been recommended by a prestigious guidebook. Planning does not always help you get ahead. We were greeted by cement walls, bugs, hot, stagnant air, yelling neighbors, and a pubic hair on my towel. Unwilling to search for another establishment and satisfied with Hotel Ecuador’s security, we stayed the night.

The next day, Lorelai and I woke up at 9 AM, breakfasted on chocolate croissants at a luxury hotel (even backpackers need to indulge), and hit up Guayaquil’s hot spots. My favorite was Parque Bolivar, a public park infested with iguanas, pigeons, and tortoises. Lorelai and I altered between taking flirtatious photos with the lizard life and screaming as we dodged swarms of pigeons and falling iguana poop (apparently, iguanas like to sit in trees). We also tried to avoid the small children who like pulling the iguanas´ tails. Nothing festers with disease like a huge, angry, biting iguana who hangs out with pigeons in a public park.

At five, Lorelai and I decided to go to the bus terminal to find a bus to Puerto Lopez. I say ¨find¨ because it is virtually impossible to obtain an Ecuadorian bus schedule. It is best to go to the terminal and tell one of the screaming bus representatives where you want to go. I have always been able to find a vehicle leaving within fifteen minutes of my arrival. Guayaquil’s terminal was too advanced to have screaming bus reps. It had fancy restaurants, maps, and electronic ticketing systems. Consequently, we were forced to figure out which companies went to Puerto Lopez and find our way around by ourselves. Progress had not led to a better system. When we finally found the right ticket counter, we found out that the last bus to Puerto Lopez had already left. However, we could ride to Jipi Japa (pronounced hippy-hoppa), where, the ticket lady promised, we would be able to hail a bus to Puerto Lopez.

One stressful ride later (we watched a loud action movie while breaking the sound barrier in the rain), we arrived in Jipi Japa. Lorelai and I ran into the bus terminal, eager to make our connection, only to have a group of locals tell us that there would not be another bus to Puerto Lopez until 5 AM. Lorelai and I decided to pow wow. We came to the conclusion that we were stranded in a town so obscure that it was excluded from our guidebook. Best of all, it was named ¨Jipi Japa¨ (Say it aloud. I promise that you will have fun.). We approached a sympathetic teenage girl who directed us to Hostal Agua Blanca, calling it the ¨safest¨ option. It turned out to be incredibly clean, cool, and friendly. Lorelai and I fell asleep watching a Michael Jackson impersonation contest on TV. The next morning, we woke up and took a brief tour of Jipi Japa. It had absolutely no tourism or beautification industry. We had spent the night in an authentic Ecuadorian town.

At 8:45 AM, we caught a bus to Puerto Lopez, our beach destination. One hour later, we arrived without incident. Sea at last. Sea at last. Thank God almight, we had sea at last.

That covers the first 48 hours of my relaxing beach vacation. I cannot wait to see what the rest will bring.